A Harry Potter Parody:Hermione's Loved and Hated
by HermioneGrangerFTW
Summary: Ok, this was meant to be about Harry, but it is now about Hermione! Yay! So, Hermione has fallen for someone when she accidentaly said, "Oh, My God! He is so cute when he eats!" He stalks her, and she eventually falls a victim to love.
1. Chapter 1

-Hi everyone! Here is my first Harry Potter parody! Oh wait, darn it! Make it my second! Enjoy! Oh, right, you cant enjoy it till it gets to the good bit! Duh, Mia! Yea, well whatever! Just enjoy the really boooring…first chapter!-

It was another really scary, Voldemort is out to get me, he's gonna get me, day for Harry Potter. That means it's another average, normal day. ANYWAY, Harry was eating his breakfast, because he has to eat OR HE'LL DIE! Wait a minute, are you saying Voldemort is not gonna kill Harry? Score! Uh..NO! I mean yes, but NO! Wait a minute, who am I talking to? Yourself. Ok, on with the story then! Harry average day, Voldemort, get me, breakfast die, yada yada yada..ah, here we are! Harry looked around his cupboard and sighed. He got up, hit his head on the roof, opened the door, fell over, hit his head again, and made it to the Hogwarts Express.

*LATER THAT VOLDEMORT DAY*

"MUM!

"What?"

"MUM"

What?"

"MUUUM"

"WHAAAT?"

"I need to pee" Replied Ronald Weasley, holding legs together. Ron's mum smirked…..and walked away. The ignored teenager, winced as him mum walked right off the train and..well..died. Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh My God!" She gasped. "What?" Harry asked curiously. "Ron needs to pee!" She screamed. She and Harry ducked as the stuff came squirting out. "Uhh, Ron, I'll get some paper towels" Harry mumbled as some trickled down his forehead. "That. Would. Be. Nice." Ron said through clenched teeth.

"Oh My God!" Hermione screamed. At the same time Ron and Harry yelled, "WHAT!". Hermione slumped in her seat. "Never mind" She squeaked.

-I know, I know, your screaming because this chapter is soo short. *Ducks as underpants come flying at head* Hey, It's just a kick start to a soon to be 50 chapter story! ( I think) I will update tomorrow with a 1½ k worded chapter! Did that make sence? I don't know! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter anyway!-


	2. Chapter 2

-This chapter is Hermione's POV! I am thinking about switching POVs, but if you don't want me to, leave a review saying why.. WOW! If you do the smiley thing on Microsoft Works Word Processor, it turns into an actual smiley! 8D-

Playlist-

Fergalicious-Fergie

You Can't Hurry Love-Human Nature

Lights and Sounds-Yellowcard

Bad Boys-So stupid, I don't know. Lol.

Addicted To You-Anthony Callea

Can I Have It Like That-Pharrell Ft. Gwen Stefani

It's Not Me, It's You-Paul Mac

Believe Me- Fort Minor

I looked around and saw Ron at the top of the stairs, I gasped. "Oh, My God!". Ron was so beautiful! He was wearing a frilly pink dress, his curly hair was flung around his shoulders. I ran to him and kissed him passionately. He gasped and pulled away. "Hermione!" He cried. "Hermione Granger! Wake up!" I sat up in my bed and looked around. "Oh, My God!" I breathed.

*AT LUNCH*

I was in the Great Hall with Ron and Harry. It had special lights hanging from the roof, I think they were the bluey type. Nylon, I think(-Hehehe-). There was music booming from the new speakers, a Muggle song I remember called, _The Chicken Dance. I looked at Ron. He was stuffing his face with chicken. "Oh, My God, he is so cute when he eats" I whispered. Neville turned around to look at me and said in a deep voice, "Thanks" He winked and turned around again. I shuddered, Gross, I thought._

_*SOME RANDOM TIME AND PLACE*_

"_Yo" Sighed Neville, once again looking at me. _

"_Oh, My God, Neville where are we?" I groaned._

"_Dunno, the author didn't say, so, basically, we are nowhere" He replied._

"_Oh, My God! Right" I said confidently. I could get us out of this place. Ermm…this not place….?_

_Suddenly, Neville grabbed his wand out of his pocket, pointed it at my breasts, and said, "Engorgio!" My breasts grew to about 10 times their size and Neville gasped. Shuffling towards me, hands out, Neville looked very cute. Wait, what am I thinking? I slapped him so hard, we ended up back in Hogwarts._

_*THE NEXT DAY*_

_Neville was following me around everywhere the next day. I was thinking about slapping him again, but I decided to wait until the bruise I made was gone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Neville hit his head on a poll. I rolled my eyes and started running towards the Gryffindor common room, escaping from his uh..wandering eyes. When I got there I ran up to the Girls Dormitories and fell on my bed crying. Let's hope he doesn't come up here, I thought._

_*THE DAY AFTER THAT DAY AKA. THE NEXT DAY AGAIN*_

_Today was the day I was going to face Neville. I was planning the whole thing in my head. I always go to the Library and Neville always follows me. When I get to the doorway, I spin away and scream in his face to leave me alone. Sounds good. So, that day, I went to the Library. I had just stopped walking when I spun around, and unsurprisingly, Neville was there. "OH, MY GOD!" I screamed. "WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING PRIVATELY! CAN I HAVE IT LIKE THAT?" I continued. He nodded and I saw tears welling up in his eyes. He started sobbing and ran away. Good, I thought. I got rid of him, he won't bother me anymore. I smiled, grabbed a book and started reading._

_*MONTHS LATER*_

_Neville hadn't talked to me since I screamed at him. He was still upset, so I was surprised when he spoke to me when I was leaving for Christmas Break. It all happened when I was boarding the train…..*IMAGINATION BUBBLE THING* Neville came walking up to me and smiled. "Hey, I just wanted to say sorry. But, I have to say, it was your fault." He smiled sheepishly. I glared at him. "Oh, My God! No it was not me, it was you! You were the one who was..was STALKING me! I mean, come on!" I yelled. His smile faded and it turned into a pout. "Well, you were the one who said I looked cute when I eat." He protested. I huffed and turned around. I started walking into the train, but ended up stomping right into the glass door. I sighed, opened the door and walked in. *END OF IMAGINATION BUBBLE THING*_

_*BELIEVE HIM!*_

_I sat on the train, thinking. Did he really think I was talking about him? I had been asking this same question to myself through the holidays. I was on the way back to Hogwarts, Ron and Harry were sitting across from me, staring at my almost pained face. "?" Ron asked. I grunted. I didn't want anyone bothering my thoughts. "Hermione!" He yelled. I sat up straight, startled. "Oh, My God! Ron, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I gasped. "Sorry." He mumbled. When we got off the train Neville walked up to me again. "I thought you were talking to me, please believe me Hermione." He pleaded. "Oh, My God! Yes, I do believe you Neville, sorry." I apologized. Harry and Ron stopped walking and waited for me. I ushered them on with my hand. That hand found itself tangled in Neville's hair an hour later. I enjoyed that night._

_*SHES LOVE*_

_I sat down next to Neville at the Gryffindor table and kissed him. I used to love Ron, but now Neville was the only thing I could think about. He was the man of my dreams. A hot one. Neville pulled away and looked into my chocolate eyes. I was slightly disappointed he stopped the kiss, but I was rewarded with his beautiful eyes. Oh, his eyes are cute. He smirked and his lips touched mine again. He was mine forever and ever and ever! I smiled._

_-1k words there! Ha! Try throwing stuff at me now! Haha, this is turning into a drama! I haven't put any chapters up yet, lol, but hopefully when you are reading this, I would have written the next few chapters! Thanks!-_


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